A photography
by Adept94
Summary: About three friends which have to realize that they can't return to the past, while walking towards the future. KirinoXKyousuke, but concentrated on the friendship between them and Manami. -Info about why i end this story at end of chapter 3
1. A photography

A photography.

A photography,  
one of the dearest things to a little eight year old, brown-haired girl, a treasure she owned since she and those two so important persons, her beloved onii-chan and Mana-chan, her and her brothers best friend, stood in front of a camera, laughing and smiling.

"Kirino-chan sure is happy about the picture, huh?" The eleven years old Manami wasn't any better as the excited eight year old Kirino which was more jumping then walking. Both girls had small bags with a picture of the three of them. The eleven year old Kyousuke was walking beside the two girls. He was as enthusiastic as his two friends, but he didn't had one of the pictures since he spent his last money for Kirinos copy.

* * *

A photography,

and it wasn't three years later as the same little girl threw a tantrum. Her best friend, someone she looked up to like she was her older sister, dared to hurt her that much...! She took the photo and ripped it apart- ripped apart this traitor which was trying to steal her, and only her onii-chan. She wanted to also rip apart her onii-chan, since he was such an idiot, rather following the advise of this manipulator then staying her beloved brother, but she stopped. Somehow the thought of ripping apart her brother felt incredibly wrong to her. So the little girl layed down the rest of the photo and threw away the part with the other girl, into the rubbish were this thief, who stole away her onii-chan, belonged.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid..." Her anger made her ignore the numbness in her legs while she was sprinting home. Kirino was beyond furious. Not only that mean girl stole away her onii-chan, she also dared to say that Kirino was wrong. "The only wrong thing is her head!" screamed the girl while running. Couldn't she understand, she with her plain morality and her logical arguments? Couldn't she at least try to understand?

* * *

A photography,  
since it was ripped apart another three years passed. Three years of constant avoiding and ignoring her stupid brother. But now things were becoming better: After discovering her secret her brother didn't reject her, instead he was helping, even standing up against their frightening father to protect her and her hobby. She was happy. Relieved. Maybe things could become ones again like in their childhood, but with one major difference: She wouldn't let the plain girl ruin it again.

"So you will leave her? You will be with me again?" Chiro was the little sister in Kirinos newest game.

And while Chiro was about 2 Years younger as Kirino, the older girl couldn't ignore how similar their situations were, with the hero (Chiro's bigger half-brother) deciding between his little sister and his childhood-friend.

She obviously didn't love her idiot brother, while Chiro workshipped hers. But in any other way their situation were almost the same. And so Kirino hesitated not for a moment, when the game asked her which one was to choose. She reject that annoying childhood friend in an almost cruel way and chose the little sister without second thoughts.

* * *

A photography,  
and while the damaged picture showed two kids which thought they were siblings, that wasn't quite right any more. They weren't related by blood. And so the blonde girl danced trough her room, celebrating that her beloved brother, no her beloved Kyousuke could become her lover. And only hers. She was also appreciating the conversation she would have with the plain girl. The first conversation in years, just to tell her that Kyousuke would only be hers, and that she wouldn't share him with the plain one.

"Doesn't feel good, huh?" Kirino enjoyed this, even if it normally would normally disgust her if she would watch such a scene. The sun was setting in a bloody red, long shadows were falling over her and the other girl. In this beautiful scenary she did her best to hurt Manami in the worst ways she knew.

Not physical, but psychical, and incredible successful. "How does it feel? It isn't nice when someone steals away your beloved one, right?" A few tears were shining in Manamis eyes. No reason for Kirino to stop, since this tears were what she desired. She wanted this plain and stupid girl to cry. Since three years she wanted to avenge the relationship this girl destroyed. Her time came and she loved every second of it.

* * *

A photography.  
The damage done to the picture by the blonde girl became also clear in the real world. After she practically bullied the other girl, enjoying the pain in her eyes, and the tears the other girl fought back she felt bad. Still the worst was the lack of fighting back of the crying girl, and the fact that Kyousuke told her that the girl wasn't at school the next day. That made her feel downright guilty, but she was to proud and to ashamed to apologize.

Kirino felt kinda lost. She did her best to hide the damage the picture took. But it looked just incomplete. She felt great after she came back home, but slept horrible. Even now she just felt numb and somehow empty.

She smiled upon hearing Kyousukes greeting. One of the things which the plain girl couldn't steal away. But he was rather late, and so she went into his room and waited for him, while he was taking his usual home-coming glass of juice.

"You're late." Kyousuke didn't do much more than rising an eye-brow at Kirino. "I walked over to Manami after school. Why are you aski-" "What were you doing there?" Kirino interrupting him wasn't something new to Kyousuke. And since he knew she would just become angry when he wouldn't answer her directly he went on.

"Don't make it sound like it's a bad place. Manami wasn't at school, so I just wanted to know what were wrong." The blond girl became very silent at this and her insides tightened in fear. What if that girl simply told Kyousuke about yesterday?

Kirino did her best to stay calm and after she was sure her voice wouldn't shake while speaking, she asked carefully: "And what was wrong with her?"

Kyousuke just raised an eyebrow at her, but answered: "She said she ate something wrong and became sick. Seemed to be pretty bad, her eyes were all red and she was kinda pale... Why are you asking?" Kirino wasn't afraid anymore, but far from being well. After yelling some unreasonable insults at Kyousuke, she retreated to her room and made sure to lock the door behind her.

She was sure that Manami didn't stay home because she ate something bad. But she would never tell her brother about that. Still, she didn't understand why Manami lied to Kyousuke. And while trying to forget about it, it almost engraved itself into her mind, a constant reminder of what she has done, and how Manami didn't tried to take revenge. Kirino slept even worse for the rest of the week.

* * *

A photography.  
Now there was another one, one showing both of the no-more-siblings as husband and wife, completely in white. The other girl has been also there, she made even the majority of the delicious cakes which have been served at the wedding. And she was smiling and crying out of happiness for the pair she knew her entire life. Kirino was more then thankful on that day that Manami was apparently unable to hold a grudge against anything.

Kirino relaxed a bit. After hours of congratulations, celebrating and being the happiest girl on this planet she felt kinda worn out. Since Ayase dragged Kyousuke away to have a "little conversation" (he didn't look very eager to have such a conversation, and Kirino was very sure that her husband was fearing for his live at the moment), Kirino had no reason to stay with the mostly drunken guests and decided to take a little break instead. So she escaped from her own wedding-party and ended up on one of the balconies of the hotel where they were celebrating in.

She realized that she still wasn't alone: Manami was leaning on the balustrade. The other girl didn't noticed that she wasn't alone anymore and while looking up to the stars. She didn't wear her glasses, but contacts, since the glasses didn't look good together with the dress she wore. Also she changed her hairstyle: Her hairs fell on her shoulders by now. Even Manami didn't managed to look normal in such a situation, so Kirino was slightly taken aback from the view, wondering how the plain girl and that beautiful woman could be the same person. The blond girl nearly jumped then the other one turned her head and noticed Kirino while she was still starring at her.

"I didn- I mean I-" She was blabbering while blushing like mad. "You needed a break, Kirino-chan?" Manami was smiling at the younger girl. She had been one of the first persons to congratulate the newly-wed pair and now she said nothing else, instead she just waved at the blond girl. Still flustered Kirino took the invitation, at least she thought it was an invetation to join Manami and so both of them watched the moon until the younger one spoke up: " Manami, I-" "Are you happy Kirino?" The younger one stopped slightly confused, but nodded then. Manami smiled once again and by saying "Then it's all ok." she brought back the silence, while ending the conflict which the blonde girl begun long ago.

* * *

A photography.

Kirino hid the picture, so Kyousuke couldn't find it. She didn't like the thought of him knowing about the photo. And while the photo and the conflict became older and older Kirino couldn't stop to feel uneasy about it. She and Kyousuke were married for three years by now, without children, since she still wanted to keep her husband to herself. But also because she were insecure about being a mother. And so it was a cold and rainy day when she went to the person she once despised and somehow befriended again, to ask for a promise.

She called her "Manami-san"or sometimes "Manami". She never called her plain again after the wedding. And she didn't feel like she still had the right to call her "Mana-chan", not since that day she bullied the other girl so terrible. Kirino stood in front of Manami's house. She came alone, for first time ever since she and Kyousuke were husband and wife. This was something she needed to do without him.

So she ringed the bell, took a deep breath and waited for the door to open. It was relatively long until the door opened. "Hello Kirino-chan." Kirino noticed the effort the older girl took to make her voice sound at least bit like usual. She guessed it was just a cold, and after greeting and having a bit Smalltalk with Manami she decided that it was time to ask for what she came for. By clearing her throat she got the other girls attention. Manami haven't been very concentrated. Her puffy and tired eyes often nearly fell shut, and her eyes sometimes drifted away like they were following something Kirino couldn't see. Kirino asked already if she could help Manami somehow, but she politely denied, so she didn't ask further, since she knew Manami could take care of herself.

She stopped for a moment, then moved on. "You always helped me and Kyousuke, you supported us, you never treated me bad, even though I insulted you and hurt you." She took a deep breath. "I'm really grateful for the things you did for me and Kyousuke." Manami watched her while Kirino bowed in front of her. But she knew the other girl wasn't done yet, so she didn't say anything. And Kirino went on: "I wanted to ask you to continue to support us, since it's really important to not only Kyousuke, but also to me. And also I would..."

Manami interrupted her, even though it wasn't her intention. The brown-haired women had a rather heavy coughing fit. Kirino stopped and rushed to her side, and after the older girl breathed normally again, she reasured the now really worried Kirino: "It's nothing, really, just a nasty cold. I guess I overdid it the last days at work, so you really don't have to worry."

"Should I go then? I don't really want to keep you away from resting." Kirino had doubts that she would be actually able to come alone again, since this time had been nerve-wracking enough to her. But Manami just smiled, and answered again in this hoarse, but still comforting voice: "No, it's ok, don't worry. Go on, please."

Kirino still was worried, but she then realized what she had to say now, and while she went with the flow the last time, this time she would have to say it on it's own. So she took a deep breath to calm herself and went on:

"I wanted to ask for your assistance. I... feel a bit insecure about becoming a mother. I don't know if could-"

"Don't worry. I think you would be a wonderful mother." Kirino blushed at this. Stuttering she asked: "How would you know? I'm a horrible person! I'm selfish, I'm unkind. How can you say it like that, even after I treated you like dirt for years!" Kirino couldn't understand. Even Manami wouldn't be able to simply forgive something like that. But here she was sitting, smiling while saying: "You are determined. You have a good heart. You care about the people important to you. You would be a great mother."

Kirino had enough. It was simply too embarassing, even if this warm feeling in her chest weren't completely bad. Rather loud and with a familiar unreasonable anger she spitted her last request at the other girl: "Then you will be the godparent, to make sure I don't fail miserably!" With this she rushed out the the house, leaving Manami rather dumbstruck behind.

* * *

A photography.  
The picture of the wedding was now five years old, the picture of the siblings roughly fifteen. The person which wasn't part of the older picture any more was dying by now. And in her last moment the three of them were together: She lying on her side on the bed in her house, the pair sitting on chairs, crying, while holding the weak hands of the only 26 years old woman. Manami wasn't crying: No hard feelings, no regrets. She smiled at her both friends, since she thought her crying would make it even worse to them and her mind were filled with happy thoughts, even if these were her last moments. She died peacefully, and as her hands became limp, both of the remaining two sobbed in pain, loss and sadness.

The flat had been very silent when Kirino came home. It has been a rather late modelling job, in the sun set, which has been extraordinary red today. So by the time she came home her beloved husband were supposed to be home from work. But the whole appartment were dark, so Kyousuke didn't seem to be home yet. Manami were in the hospital since nearly a month by now, and Kyousuke were visiting her often, but the visiting time in the hospital were long over. When she went into the living room she found him, sitting on the couch, in the dark. She had a little heart-attack when she turned on the light and he was sitting there, staring holes into the wall. She got already ready to yell at him, but then she noticed how odd the situation were. Especially since he didn't seem to notice her. His eyes looked like he cried. With slow steps she went to the sofa, sat down beside him. He noticed her then, and with an obviously faked smile he greeted her.

"What's with this weak greeting to your beautiful wife?!" Kirino tried to joke, but she understood in the same second that it wasn't the time for jokes now.

"What's wrong Aniki?" She was worried, Kyousuke normally didn't cry, and his voice were unusual weak. He seemed to shiver at this question, like he was afraid to tell her. But then he took a deep breath, but then he just brought out a whisper, so faint that Kirino barely understood, but enough to make her freeze inside.

"Manami is dying."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Kirino-chan. I'm really sorry." The younger woman couldn't move even a muscle. The frail and pale Manami in front of her just apologized for things which were far, far away in the past. She even admitted that she may did wrong.

But while Kirinos brain was still paralysed the other girl went on. "And the other thing, I called you for... I'm sorry again." The smile on the face of the brown-haired woman were so weak and sad that Kirino thought for a moment Manami would start to cry now. But instead she said: "I don't think that I would be able to live up to my promise." In this moment the young woman understood, she understood the thing which made her brother break down, she understood what she haven't accepted until now, but still she tried to fight this truth with all she had.

"You're lying. That can't happening. You can't..." Kirino brought out this last attempt to deny the truth, while almost crying, in a weak and shaky voice. But in this warm light of the summer-sun shining trough the window, two months after the doctor told Kyousuke and her that her disease were fatal, Manami simply nodded.

* * *

Manami died when September ended. On the day of her funeral, colourful leaves danced in the wind while the sun shined trough heavy clouds which covered the sky. After the ceremony was done, and even Manami's family returned home, two persons were still standing in front of the white tomb-stone.

Kirino felt uneasy when she saw the always calm woman lying in her coffin, surrounded by a death silence. The white dress which covered her body did it's best to cover the skinny and out-burned frame, but still it couldn't conceal the truth: Manami fought as long as possible, and this fight took it's tribute from her body, which barely were heavier by now then the one of a child.

"Seems like you weren't indestructible either." Kyousuke said, while not shedding a tear. He just looked endlessly tired. Kirino cried trough the full funeral and even now a few tears were still falling. The promise they had to give to the dying woman were still in their minds, and they would enjoy life as much as possible, while not getting consumed by regret. At least that was what Manami wanted them to do.

* * *

A photography.  
While the person was gone, something else came back. Manami left Kirino three things: A letter, in which Manami wrote about how she didn't want that Kirino misunderstood her even longer, that she didn't like the thought of something being still between them, even after she was gone. A few diaries which gave pretty much enough explanation to crush even the slightest rest of the senseless grudge Kirino once hold against the other girl. And a photography, another little girls dearest thing, and even though the colours may became a bit weaker, no other damage was on a another photography of three childs holding each others hands while laughing and smiling at the camera.

"M-a-na-chan..." The name felt strange and familiar at the same time.

Manami had no problem with the younger girl calling her by that name, even after Kirino treated her like an insect over the years and did her best to hurt her. In the diaries was even written that she still wanted to be called like that, and was irritated since Kirino still preferred the more distanced "Manami-san".

Kirino couldn't read on at some point, with the regrets burning hot and brutally in her guts, so she sprinted out of her room, out of the house, just away from these books, these diaries, filled with kind words which made Kirino feel like a monster.

She nearly ran into Kyousuke, he even asked her what was wrong, but she simply ran away. He followed her, could even pursue his wife to the graveyard were Manami lay. He watched her from some distance, wanting to comfort her, but knowing that this was something he shouldn't get involved with, as long as she didn't ask him to.

Kirino never felt worse in her life, as in the moment she knelt, with her hands pressed against her chest, in front of her childhood-friends grave and wept in sorrow and regret. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." And her hands pressed the story of three happy children, laughing and smiling, against her chest.

* * *

So... this is it folks.

I reworked the story not only because the comments to the first version said it were a bit to less, but also because I thought that too, back then I published the first version of it.

For the odd formatation: I'm new in this kind of business ;)

For the shitty grammar/ other mistakes: Well... The only situation in which I speak or use english is normally school ^^ But I used every program on it I could find.

It took long, very long indeed, and I'm truly sorry, but I couldn't handle it another way, since writing in english is a bit harder for me as a german, and it takes lots of time.

But, if the new version of the story is nice in your eyes, I can give you another (but shorter) chapter in two weeks.

Well, may we read again in two weeks, in "Golden Memory Saint".

m.f.g.

Adept94


	2. Golden Memory Saint

Golden memory saint

It started with a cold. Nothing terrible, nothing unusual. At least the illness itself wasn't unusual. The date it started, the morning of the day after the marriage between her best friend and the girl who has been once something like a little sister to her, back in this golden days of her youth, on the over hand where a date which have been easy to remember.

Because of this remarkable date she remembered it, that she was waking up with a sneeze, and had some coughs on the way to the kitchen to get some water for her dry throat. She didn't gave much thought to it, since she had stayed outside at the party for quite a time, in a dress which were short and revealing and far away from anything she would usually wear, but Ayase made her buy and wear it. Manami even felt the gazes of the audience through the dress which wasn't her taste, even though it seemed to look good on her.

"Make sure Onii-san doesn't mistakes you for the bride." Manami blushed at Ayase's comment.

* * *

The cold disappeared rather fast, but when winter came around the cold came back with a fever, and disappeared again when spring came around, just to return again in the next winter, a bit more nasty, staying a bit longer, but nothing terrible.

At the time the marriage became four years old, the cold stayed trough the summer, weaker when it have been in winter, often barely noticeable, but still lingering in the background, like a waiting observer, waiting for cold times to return to her again.

The next year it became much worse, but still she didn't gave it too much thought, not because it wasn't important to her, but because she didn't wanted to think about it, since concentrating on being ill doesn't really help with covering up the fact of being ill. And since Kyou-chan seemed so happy, she didn't planned to spoil that happiness which he shared with his wife, by making him worry.

The day Kirino came had been one of the colder ones, and she hasn't been ready to cover her illness, neither she would have thought of the promise the younger woman wanted from her. Maybe they could even return to being friends again, back in those times when there weren't something like a wall around the younger one, a barrier Manami couldn't break trough.

She felt happy and flattered at first, but then, late at night, while she was kept awake by violent coughing attacks and the feeling of not being able to breath properly, she was brooding over this promise.

At some point it was the proof of the trust returning between them, but at the same time Manami did her best to fight down ugly thoughts directed at the other woman. Jealousy, envy and loathing were things Manami tried to stay away from.

They weren't pleasant nor useful, and in Manamis eyes, they were also even more bad. These were things which could destroy easily any healthy friendship. And she didn't intend to let that happen. Even if Kirino would become the mother of Kyousukes children, even though Manami still loved this man, she wouldn't let these feelings destroy the friendship which were slowly returning between her and Kirino. So she despised herself, for envying the other girl. It have been Kirino's dream to be together with her Onii-chan, not only in a sibling way, but also as lovers. So this was just the romantic dream of a little girl becoming true.

Even though Manami's dream weren't so different from that, but at times were she was lying in her bed, simply too weak to stand up and her whole body hurting from the last coughing fit she would be fever-dreaming of Kyousuke nursing her, taking care of her. In these weak moments she just wanted him to be at her side.

But in the retrospective she would be angry with herself, knowing that Kyousuke belonged to the other girl, and that this selfish way of thinking would never lead anywhere. Some time she would even go as far as to say that she had already her time with him, back then, when Kirino separated herself from them, and the friendship between herself and Kyousuke became closer to a relationship of a pair, even though she still kinda loathed the fact that they jumped over the newly weds and young lovers part, directly into a situation were they called each other old man and grandma. But also this situation haven't been one to continue for ever.

* * *

At the time the relationship between the siblings became better, Manami had been happy. Not only because she knew how important the relationship to a sibling could be, with her own brother may being a bit weird, but still very important to her. Kyousuke seemed to be livelier, despite the stress and trouble his sister seemed to cause. And while he had less time for her, and the time he spent with her he mostly discussed the trouble of other girls with her, the time with this lively Kyousuke had been worth it.

By the time the two siblings were told that they weren't siblings at all however, the situation reversed. Manami still had nightmares about that time, the time Kirino got her "revenge" and about the sleepless night after this revenge, were she simply lied in her bed, curled up, her hands pressed on her ears, while crying her eyes out, still hearing the shouts, the names, the words and the sadistic laughter.

The next day she didn't went to school, she simply stayed hidden in her bed, finally sleeping because of the exhaustion of the night she cried through. By the time Kyousuke came to check her she were again on the verge of tears, a part of her wanting to simply crush into his arms, telling him everything, wanting him to sooth her, to calm her down, to comfort her. At the same time this part of her wanted to make Kirino pay. And this last part was what stopped her. So she just told him that she ate something bad, creating another secret between her and the other girl. And while he simply told her to get better while ruffling trough her hair she was on the verge of tears, while still not able to exploit the girl she still saw as one of her friends.

"Make sure to become healthy again." Manami almost leaned into the hand which ruffled trough her hair.

* * *

She would let Kirino and Kyousuke have their luck, while hiding the rest of her feelings and maybe, just maybe, if she would do her best to rebuild this broken bonds, then these happy days they shared in their childhood could return. But time went by, and at some point she felt that her remaining time to return to these times became rather short. And only a bit later she understood that she wouldn't be able to make it in time.

At this point she couldn't hide the illness any more, and even her dense best friend noticed. He had been angry, not at her, but at himself. The time they spent together became less after the marriage, down to that point that they would only met a few times in the year, always with Kirino being with them. She didn't mind, it made it easier to cover up the illness. But while he seemed to know her less, which hurted somewhere deep inside her, she still could read him like an open book. He also have been there when the doctor told her that it wasn't very likely that she become healthy again, and that she may had to make her last will. He took it far worse than her, since deep inside she already knew about what had to come. But he visited her more often, which made her happy. On the other hand she could never enjoy his presence whole heartly since any time he were with her, going trough a park, or when things became worse, sitting at her bed, his eyes were always filled with guilt, making it just too obvious to her who he blamed for her situation.

But she wouldn't stop. Even if she couldn't return and live in this golden times again, at least she would clear things to a point which would make her able to leave this world without grieving, and without leaving behind an unresolved conflict.

At this second time Manami and Kirino met alone, the brown-haired girl apologized for two things: She felt sorry for lecturing Kirino back then, which had been the reason for the conflict between them, and so she admitted that she had been a bit harsh back then, when she told the other girl things without respecting her feelings back then. The other was that she most likely wouldn't be able to hold her promise, and that she was sorry for not being able to help the younger with being a mother. Kirino realized then that Manami would die, and she took it maybe even worse than her brother.

With her first attempt being shaky and weak, her familiar anger soon arrived,and soon Kirino was yelling at the bed-ridden girl, how Manmi could stay calm in such a situation, and how she was responsible for the condition Manami was in. At some point Kirino came very near Manami's face, and even without her glasses the older girl could see the tears on the cheeks of the other one. She simply embraced the other girl. And instead of angry shouts soon she heard suppressed sobs coming from the younger girl, and along the the lines which the younger girls mumbled against her chest, one brought Manami also to the verge of tears.

"I don't want Mana-chan to go." Manami felt a shiver running down her spine.

* * *

As her last moments came she could feel it in the warmth of both hands she held with her weak ones. Maybe there wasn't a golden future she would live in, but in this last moment Manami felt just like the little girl she had been in this happy days, joining hands with these two so important friends.

"You two make sure to live happily on, right? It's important to not grief... Live is to short for that...", were her last word, which made her sound one last like an old woman, preaching to her grandchildren how important a happy life was, while in front of her eyes the crying faces of her two friends melt together with the light of the rising sun which shone trough her window, making her last sight a blurred mix out of auburn and gold.

_I didn't cry... I stayed strong for them... I made it out_ _happy... _ Were the last thoughts of her consciousness, which lied to itself, while longing to stay with her friends.

* * *

So... this is it folks.

I admit it, i cried while writing this. She is one of my favorites in OreImo after all, so this one was harsh...

Well, not much to say I guess, hope you enjoyed it.

Aaaand the next one is gonna be the "Worst of the best friends"

Aaaand I still do not beta.

Well, hope to read you again!

m.f.G.

Adept94


	3. Worst of the best friends

Worst of the best friends

He has always been dense. Sometimes he couldn't read the atmosphere, sometimes he assumed kinda naïve things. But noticing the feelings of others... It have been always a problem. It wasn't like he was dumb, or sociopathic. He had no cruel intentions nor he didn't care about the people around him.

Actually Kyousuke cared pretty much for the people around him.

"You didn't bring money with you? Tze, tze kinda careless, Kirino, really really..." His teasing was directly countered with a pouting face. The big blue eyes of his sister made him feel like he just tossed a little kitten trough the air. The other girl showed a small smile, being used to this kind of "argument" between the siblings. And Kyousuke wasn't upset or annoyed by that, since he knew that Manami had no bad intentions at all. Meanwhile his little sisters eyes seemed to become even bigger, while shimmering wetly. And he reacted by becoming even more tense and a few stutters were coming out of his mouth, like warning signs of his high pressured brain. His best friend snickered shortly, but decided then that he may had enough. "So we gonna pay for Kirino-chan, right Kyou-chan?" Actually that was his intention all along, since this was the first time he was allowed to walk around with his eight year old sister and Manami without adult supervision. The amusement park were bustling with childrens and worried parents and since their father was an police-officer Kyousuke and Kirino knew everything about the dangerous creeps which would take careless children with them. Daisuke wouldn't let them go, wouldn't it have been for the fact that their mother saw a gigantic teddy. Kyousuke admitted, it has been a really nice looking bear, with fluffy fur, big black eyes and a rather high quality. How his mother seemingly turned into a second Kirino in a blink of an eye still confused him. Long story short: Their mother wanted that thing, which was a price at the shooting gallery, their father refused at first, their mum played dirty and attacked dad's pride in his marksmen-skills. Since that thing was one of the star prizes, even their skilled dad would take a while to take all the credits together. So they were allowed to walk around by themselves.

Later on that day they would come along a photo-booth, with him having one of those moments in which he exactly knew what his sister wanted. He kinda regretted that he couldn't buy a copy for himself, but that was ok, Kirino radiated almost with happiness. Since he was a siscon at that time, this happy smile of this sister was rewarding enough back then.

* * *

Three years later things changed. He changed, his sister changed, their relationship changed, and they stopped to speak with each other. Their relationship broke, with all bridges burnt. They started to become strangers to each other. And with all this differences, one thing stayed the same: Manami stayed his best friend, and even after they became more and more aware of the physically differences between them... nothing changed, at least for him. Maybe it have been at that time that he started to take her as a given and to take her support for granted. She never said anything about that, didn't awaited something in return. He never really thanked her for always being at his side. But after another three years things changed once again.

"Do you thing she would like that?" Kyousuke had no real idea what girls liked. The vague, stereotype influenced direction, yes, but that was already all the clues he had. And with Kirino's birthday approaching he knew that he had to have a good present at hand, or he would be most likely be high-kicked. But he didn't just wanted to have a present to prevent damage. Somehow they became closer again, not like they were loving siblings again, or anything like the main-characters of the galge-games his sister loved, but they talked. They talked, and she let him get closer again. He wouldn't destroy this, whatever it was, by picking the wrong present for his picky sister. So he took Manami with him, since he guessed she would have a clue. "Too dull, Kyou-chan." Her voice was friendly, while she took a much flashier necklace from the stand. A pink shooting-star with a silver tail. It looked girly all together and fitted wonderfully. Manami gave him the new-found treasure. The prize made him shiver for a moment and Manami's eyes went wide as she saw the label with the number on it. He still bought it and as they went down the street with her walking and smiling silently beside him, he took a long sigh, while his wallet felt way to light. "You know Manami, I like your birthdays much better." She stopped, her eyes wide and looking at him. He didn't notice and went on: "They cause waaay less problems." He went on, complaining why he couldn't invite Kirino to the cinema or take her out to eat an ice. He didn't saw how his best friends smile disappeared a moment, being replaced by a kinda hurt expression.

* * *

The time he was told that he and Kirino were no siblings has been a blurry to him. To many things happened at once. Kirino seemed to be always around him, keeping him busy or distracting him in over ways. The only contact he had with Manami was when he checked up if she was ok, since she stayed at home. The other days, he couldn't say he had forgotten them, but it have been weird and surrealistic. He and Kirino have danced around each others, being no more sure about what they are to each others, keeping each other on a distance which maybe has been more intimate when ever before, but at the same time avoiding to take the last step. After two weeks of cat and mouse he had enough. He wanted to make the next step, but at the same time he had to avoid messing up at any prize. So he waited for one of Kirino's modelling jobs, to meet up with his childhood-friend and make a plan how he should approach the situation.

The little café wasn't very crowded, nor lively. A young waitress, in a completely normal waitress outfit and serving normal food without cryptic names just brought them two coffees. He was almost a little disappointed when she walked away to serve another table, without the stuff he was used from the maid-café, like being called Senpai, or Onii-san. But this wasn't Akihabara's maid-themed café, this was a normal one. Was he really disappointed by that? He almost let go of a sigh, but concentrated. Maybe he was a little bit too accustomed to the Akiba-Stuff, but right now, there were more pressing matters.

Manami, sitting opposite from him was just drowning a little pack of sugar in her steaming cup and started afterwards to stir the brown liquid with a spoon. She seemed nervous somehow, stressed and her eyes were nearly falling shut. He cleared his throat, getting her attention this way, or at least she looked up to him. The dark circles around her were kinda similar to the ones Kirino had since a few days, even though his sister always hid them under her make-up. The one time Kyousuke saw them was as he came to her room to wish her a good night and the door wasn't locked, and she didn't reacted when he was knocking the door because she was hearing music. She seemed already ready to sleep, with her tired eyes almost shut as she looked up to ceiling, the cables of the earphones over one of this t-shirts she took from his room.

His friend seemed as tired as she looked, but a small smile was on her lips, like she wanted to tell him that everything was ok. Reassured this way he started.

"Kirino and I aren't siblings." She nodded.

"I know... Kirino told me already." He raised an eyebrow at this.

"She told you? You two are getting along again?" Her expression was unreadable.

"Kinda that, yes." He relaxed.

"That makes things easier. You know... I think I love her." She stopped to stir the no more existing sugar in her cup.

"That isn't good, you know? Maybe you aren't related any longer, but..." Her voice wasn't very loud, but every word was made sure to be heard. He closed his eyes, while leaning back in his chair.

"My decision is made, I will confess to her. I just have no idea how. So, maybe you..." She stood up with so much force that the table shook. The two coffees were shaking dangerously with their underground, however not much was spilled. Her voice wasn't very loud, but the almost threatening tone of her have been something completely new to him.

"You don't know what you are risking, right? The last year you did crazy things to make up to her, and now you are saying... that won't work. You two may say you aren't siblings any more, but you are still are, not by blood, but that bond still exists. And now you want to destroy that by starting a relationship?" He was slightly taken aback. He never saw her losing control in any way, that was something so unlike her. But she was standing in front of him, her breath deep and slow, like she just ran a mile. But he stood up too and in his eyes burned determination.

"Even if I'm risking all this, I wouldn't have it another way. I love her, I will confess to her, no matter what. But... I don't want to cause a mess. I will live with the outcome, but I want to be ready. So please, help me out with this." She slumped back down on her chair. All energy seemed to be taken out of her. He sat back too, since he may have been louder than he realized.

The whole coffee shop was silent and it wasn't because of the last guests also went away. An elder couple he could see from his position didn't even bother to hide their voyeurism, since they were looking almost proud at him.

"You two are gonna hurt each other... very very bad. Can you live with that Kyousuke?" He nodded again.

"May that be right. But I would never want to hurt her. And even if I do, I will do everything to make up to her. Maybe she turns me down, but I can live with that." She shook her head.

"This isn't about what happens if you get refused. It's about the problems you will have if you are successful." She looked up to him, her expression tired, her eyes seemingly wet. "What will you do after you two break up? Like that time with Ruri-chan?"

His thoughts stopped for a second. The time after the break-up with the little black-haired girl was still present to him, as well as how painful it has been. And the same thing with Kirino... no.

"I won't let that happen. And even if we break up, I will make sure it wouldn't destroy anything I can't build up again."

She sighed and for a moment her eyes were looking at him in a... longing way? But after he blinked once it was already away once again, so he may just imagined it. Instead she leaned back, getting into a position in which she could easily look up to the ceiling. He looked up to, but he couldn't really get why she was looking at the bright brown wood.

"Maybe I should look out for a boyfriend." Something inside him just froze. He was used to comments others made into that direction, he even had to witness a few boys confessing to Manami, but she herself never brought up the topic. So, wherever that came from, he didn't like it.

"Don't even joke about that." He looked at her in an annoyed way, she stopped to look at the ceiling and smiled a very little smile at him.

"Doesn't Kyou-chan has Kirino-chan? So why is he meddling with my stuff?" He became pissed off, mostly because she really had a point. Still, the thought of her being in a relationship with someone... that really didn't felt right in any way. He wouldn't be able to accept it, no matter what. Especially the idea of her getting hurt by some asshole made his blood boil.

"There isn't some one good enough for you." She looked at him her eyes wide, the dark circles stretched around them, the dumbfounded expression all clear in her face. But then she smiled again, again this very little smile.

"So I will have to stay single forever? What a lonely destiny..." She had again figured out something he couldn't counter. But he wouldn't let her be lonely.

"What are you talking about? We have always been together. Maybe I don't like the idea of you getting a boyfriend, but I wouldn't stop hanging around with you. And since you said you and Kirino are getting along again, maybe things could become like back then, right?"

This time she looked really taken aback. Small tears were in her eyes, but then her little smile became bigger. And she wiped her eyes with a sleeve of her jacket.

"Thank you."

The rest of the time they talked about everything and nothing, but at the end, he was just standing up to get home, so Kirino wouldn't have to much of reasons to trow a fit, Manami spoke up one last time.

"I won't help you with your confession, but... I guess it would be enough if you tell her what you just told me. She won't turn you down."

He turned around to see her very troubled expression, like she had to fight inside to bring out those words. But then he smiled.

"Thank you."

He won't question what she said to him.

* * *

His confession has been more than successful, and three years later, with him being twenty-one and his wife-to-be being eighteen, they married. It has been one of the best days in his entire life.

Many asked him afterwards how he managed to invite so many beauties. He guessed they meant Ayase, Saori or Ruri, maybe even Kanako, even though she still looked more like a girl then a woman. When they told him about a brown-haired beauty he wondered who that could have been, since he didn't knew too many brown-haired girls. When he asked Kirino about that she was first irritated, but after she calmed down...

"You're kidding, right?" She looked at him with a sceptic expression, like she wasn't sure if he wanted to trick her or not. But his expression was completely genuine, while showing no bad intentions.

"No, I really don't know. I mean, they won't speak about mother, right?" Kirino looked at him with a face which almost screamed her irritation out. The next fit was most likely coming, so Kyousuke used another strategy.

"You know, I only had eyes for your that evening, the only other girl who got my attention was Ayase, but only because she would have rammed her stiletto into my throat otherwise." A slight shiver went down both of their backs. Even Kirino couldn't deny the dark second nature of her best friend anymore. But Kyousuke's trick worked, playing Kirino's ego against her made her either embarrassed or pleased.

This time it seemed to be something in between, with her suddenly fidgeting in a really adorable way. His thoughts went to the bedroom while watching this completely cute appearance of her, but he concentrated.

Most of these perverted thoughts came from Kirino's influence, but suddenly grabbing her and carrying her down the floor to the bedroom would make her angry, even though they most likely would start soon afterwards, with her being all bossy and taking the lead.

Good thing she seemed as taken aback as him, with her eyes looking a bit glassy and her mouth being slightly open, while smiling in a very goofy way.

"So, who was this girl?" Suddenly taken out of her delusions she blinked a few times, but then she answered.

"I guess they were speaking about Manami."

Had he seen her at that evening? She has been there, but he didn't really noticed her.

* * *

He never thought about what may be with him and Manami, once after they graduated. Even less he thought about what may be with them after he married Kirino. He just thought things would go on like they have been, like all these years at school, with them both in the same class, going home together, joking, talking about anything but nothing. How naïve he has been.

Over these three years they became more and more distanced, with him being the main reason. They had to turn down each others invitations, because of work, family and all the other stuff. He was the one who turned down more invitations than he made. So they saw each other less and less, a week becoming two, and these becoming a month. He remembered her first birthday, they went to the cinema. Her second one he combined with a date he made with Kirino before, carelessly as he have been. Manami has been silent the evening and afterwards Kirino told him that other girl may wanted to celebrate her birthday with him alone. He never thought about this, never realised that something like this could be important to her. The third one he forgot. Three days later he went to her house, guilt-driven and without a present.

She looked pale. Maybe even ghastly. She wore a thick pullover, but still seemed to be cold, even though the May was unusual warm. The smile on her face has been strained, weak. He remembered that he spouted all kind of nonsense, how he tried his best to apologize. She said it wasn't so bad, that he shouldn't beat himself for it, while her voice sounding raspy and sore.

He congratulated her and while thinking about what his sister said him he invited her to eat a ice somewhere, just the two of them. She seemed to be really happy about it.

It had been on the way out. She suddenly started to cough, but didn't stopped. He was first irritated by it, when she dropped to her knees horrified. He rushed to her side, screaming her name, not stopping to scream when he hold her. Her body was far to light and the tremors which went trough her made have been far too violent to be healthy. At the moment he saw the red stains on her hands he called the ambulance.

That has been the last time he wished a happy birthday to her.

* * *

Once again his memories were a bit blurry. The time Manami has been in the hospital had been good at first. He visited her, far more often when he did in the last three years, out of worry, out of guilt. Sometimes Kirino came with him, sometimes she didn't. He would talk with his childhood-friend like they used to when they have been at high-school, her asking him about his day, he talking and joking with her carelessly. When Kirino was with them it have been almost like they all were children again. These happy times were just interrupted when some came to check Manami up, or at the times the cough suppressants were not strong enough anymore.

At the time the doctor told Manami and him that she wouldn't become healthy again he first didn't want to believe that. The illusion of a happy, undamaged world were suddenly lost, with the presence of dead always in the background. He started to get a completely new perception around Manami, with her being frail and weak. He didn't think of an old woman any more, she even became a bit younger to him, like she was now another little sister he had to help and protect.

And three months later she died, leaving him confused, sad and shocked. At least confused and shocked were right, sad... he didn't knew.

* * *

He realized that he visited her grave more often than he saw her between his marriage and the time he noticed her illness. Still he didn't managed to cry, not out of shame, nor out of sadness. Not at the funeral, not at the countless times he went to this silent grave. It was around Christmas, since two and a half months he went to the graveyard when there was nothing else to do. Kirino never went with him, and he was actually glad she didn't. This was something between him and Manami, something he had to sort out, because now he didn't knew at all what he felt.

Wasn't he supposed to be sad? Angry? Upset? And now he still felt just a tiring numbness, like the first moments after awaking to the hated but necessary sound of his alarm clock, telling to get ready for the day, after a night which was certainly to short.

He just couldn't figure it out. There had to be something he could have done. But he didn't even noticed her sickness until she literally collapsed into his arms, far to light to be healthy, even with her short height.

And Kyousuke hated himself for it, for not looking after her, assuming that she would be okay on her own. And now, while staring down at her grave, he still couldn't cry. He was regretful, he was sad, he wanted to cry. But he couldn't, not like Kirino, which he still had to comfort when she woke up in the night, haunted by nightmares, whispering apologizes against his chest, which he never could understand.

She depended on him, the same way he still depended on Manami, but he forgot it over these happy years at Kirino's side. He still needed her, not only as friend, but also as the person she has been.

He needed Manami when he was down, to show him a new way, like she did back then, when he has been so down and pathetic that everyone else avoided him. He needed her to advice him how to go on.

But if she would be able to give him a solution for this problem, wouldn't he leave her once again? He didn't need her for anything else any more he realized, they grow apart, mostly because for almost everything he chose Kirino. Hadn't Kirino become not only his wife, but also his best friend in these last few years? Even though it had been a long and hard way to come to this point with her, the loving relationship he had with her made it more than worth it.

But while he got something out of his efforts, what kind of reward got Manami? She helped and supported him whenever she could, but never took something in return. Maybe there have been something, something she had wanted in return, something he never gave her. Since she never asked anything in return, he didn't knew, but that never meant that she actually doesn't needed something.

It was funny, but also pathetic and depressing, how he started to look at her now, with her out of reach, without being able to ask her.

But there had been. Back then, with her hands becoming weak, her voice only a weak whisper. With her last breath she made a request. Her last wish, still nothing for her, still something that showed her concern for him and Kirino, but she asked for it.

Wasn't this also a new direction? Couldn't he live that way, just like the last time, when she told him to become normal? Was this his solution?

He looked at the tomb as it would give him an answer, but after a few seconds he simply stared at Manami's name he turned away from the grave. She couldn't tell him any more, nor she would be able to do it ever again.

But with turning around he decided to do his best to live up to her last wish. Her last advice for him. Before walking away he stayed still for a moment.

"I won't stop to grief. And I won't stop to regret. The things I did to you are unforgivable, even if you forgave me. But I'll live on, making sure to make Kirino happy."

Tears welled up in his eyes, for the first time in two months, he swallowed hard. There was no relief in these tears, just the hard certainty to have to move on, that there wasn't any way back, no way to undo these things which could have been better. But it was a beginning.

"I may be the worst kind of friend, with depending on you, being careless about your birthday, not wanting you to have a boyfriend and leaving you alone. I was only able to move forward because you have pushed me, while all I have done to you was being a burden. But there is no way I could disregard my best friend's..."

He stopped. She wasn't just his best friend or the girl he knew as long as he could remember, just like Kirino wasn't just his wife and somehow-still-little-sister.

He took a deep breath. Once again he swallowed.

"There is no way I would disregard your last wish, Manami."

* * *

Well.

This one is kinda long, it took kinda long... well.

In this chapter one may be able to see a bunch of references to the other two chapters, as well as some new stuff.

I would like to know what you, if you are reading this, are thinking about it, since it's kinda patchwork-like and over dramatic to me.

I mean, I rewrote my first chapter because of the reviews, it's not like I don't read the critics.

**Why I end this**

Since the end (of the novels, the anime) came, and I had to accept that I deformed Manami's Character beyond repair, I will end here. :)

Sorry to all who wanted to see this go on, but well, higher might. I don't think that I'm crushing some dreams, but well.

I may start another, Manami-centered Story, will be a bit crazy, but I will try my best.

Have fun until then and read you later!

m.f.G.

Adept94


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